What happens when a woman needs or wants to stop selling or exchanging sex?
Photograph taken by Katie, a woman with lived experience of selling sex, for the Inside Outside project.
When women decide or need to stop selling or exchanging sex, they can continue to experience severe challenges and difficulties. Some women have said it can be harder to leave the ‘sex industry’ than to remain involved.
'Exiting’ or the process to stop selling or exchanging sex can be a long and complicated path with individual factors affecting women, such as housing and financial issues, problematic substance use, pimps and coercion from others, job skills/gaps on CV, criminal record, the impact of trauma, lack of confidence and self-belief (I can't do it), stigma and shame. Women also talk of challenges when their identity is tied to the experience of selling sex.
Many women have exited without support, whilst for others, if they don’t get the support they need, then they are more likely to need ongoing interventions over their life course. In this article, we discuss women’s reasons for wanting or needing to stop selling sex, the barriers they can encounter and why support can be pivotal for women when moving on from the 'sex industry'.
A note on the term ‘exiting’
Before describing women’s experiences, it is important to reflect on the word ‘exiting’ which is often used in relation to women moving on from selling or exchanging sex. Exiting as a ward can sound finite, as a one-off action. In reality it is process that is far from linear or clear-cut. This term may not reflect women’s complex journeys to stop selling or exchanging sex. As we will see in this article, women often leave for short periods at different points and may decide to become involved again for different reasons.
Women’s social circumstances can change and they may feel the need or have no choice but to start selling sex again. For instance, as reported by services and organisations in the UK, the cost of living crisis has seen a rise in women who had previously left the ‘sex industry’ returning due to financial pressures. Indeed, exiting is an ongoing process. Women can take many years to leave (if they ever do) and for some of them it can be a lifetime journey.
Why women leave the ‘sex industry’
Research has shown that the vast majority of women who become involved in selling or exchanging sex want to move on from their involvement at some point in their lives. There is not one consistent issue that leads women to leave the ‘sex industry’ and indeed their reasons for moving on can be as varied, complex and unique as their individual experiences.
Researchers have, however, looked into some of the different factors that can trigger women’s decisions to exit. For instance, Baker et al (2010) suggest that there might be ‘turning points’ for women, such as 'eye-opening events' (punters and pimps pressurising women to engage in sex acts or activities they are not comfortable with), 'traumatic events' (experiences of violence) and 'positive life events' (falling in love, finding work, having a child). For Sarah-Jane, who shared her experiences in Inside Outside, a major turning point was the aftermath of another assault and fears for her safety:
“After the last attack, I just couldn't go back out. I couldn't. I literally just could not do it. I thought to myself, ‘Do you know what? There's got to be more than this. There's got to be more than this, there just has to be.’ I just knew that I had to get out and if I didn't get out the only way I was going to get out was in a box. That's the stage that it got to.”
Women have also highlighted reasons related to the social context and changing nature of the ‘sex industry’. For example, the Encompass Network reported that during the pandemic there was a sudden increase in the number of women selling sex through online platforms due to lockdown restrictions. Whilst some women pivoted to this, others started considering exiting. On the other hand, women have identified how selling sex is a “buyer's market”, and punters may be more interested in paying for new and younger women with less demand in a competitive market for older women. For Barbie, a participant in the project Outside, it was the combination of safety and considerations around aging that made her think of leaving:
'Exiting’ or the process to stop selling or exchanging sex can be a long and complicated path with individual factors affecting women, such as housing and financial issues, problematic substance use, pimps and coercion from others, job skills/gaps on CV, criminal record, the impact of trauma, lack of confidence and self-belief (I can't do it), stigma and shame. Women also talk of challenges when their identity is tied to the experience of selling sex.
Many women have exited without support, whilst for others, if they don’t get the support they need, then they are more likely to need ongoing interventions over their life course. In this article, we discuss women’s reasons for wanting or needing to stop selling sex, the barriers they can encounter and why support can be pivotal for women when moving on from the 'sex industry'.
A note on the term ‘exiting’
Before describing women’s experiences, it is important to reflect on the word ‘exiting’ which is often used in relation to women moving on from selling or exchanging sex. Exiting as a ward can sound finite, as a one-off action. In reality it is process that is far from linear or clear-cut. This term may not reflect women’s complex journeys to stop selling or exchanging sex. As we will see in this article, women often leave for short periods at different points and may decide to become involved again for different reasons.
Women’s social circumstances can change and they may feel the need or have no choice but to start selling sex again. For instance, as reported by services and organisations in the UK, the cost of living crisis has seen a rise in women who had previously left the ‘sex industry’ returning due to financial pressures. Indeed, exiting is an ongoing process. Women can take many years to leave (if they ever do) and for some of them it can be a lifetime journey.
Why women leave the ‘sex industry’
Research has shown that the vast majority of women who become involved in selling or exchanging sex want to move on from their involvement at some point in their lives. There is not one consistent issue that leads women to leave the ‘sex industry’ and indeed their reasons for moving on can be as varied, complex and unique as their individual experiences.
Researchers have, however, looked into some of the different factors that can trigger women’s decisions to exit. For instance, Baker et al (2010) suggest that there might be ‘turning points’ for women, such as 'eye-opening events' (punters and pimps pressurising women to engage in sex acts or activities they are not comfortable with), 'traumatic events' (experiences of violence) and 'positive life events' (falling in love, finding work, having a child). For Sarah-Jane, who shared her experiences in Inside Outside, a major turning point was the aftermath of another assault and fears for her safety:
“After the last attack, I just couldn't go back out. I couldn't. I literally just could not do it. I thought to myself, ‘Do you know what? There's got to be more than this. There's got to be more than this, there just has to be.’ I just knew that I had to get out and if I didn't get out the only way I was going to get out was in a box. That's the stage that it got to.”
Women have also highlighted reasons related to the social context and changing nature of the ‘sex industry’. For example, the Encompass Network reported that during the pandemic there was a sudden increase in the number of women selling sex through online platforms due to lockdown restrictions. Whilst some women pivoted to this, others started considering exiting. On the other hand, women have identified how selling sex is a “buyer's market”, and punters may be more interested in paying for new and younger women with less demand in a competitive market for older women. For Barbie, a participant in the project Outside, it was the combination of safety and considerations around aging that made her think of leaving:
“I reached a stage when it all started to just get on top of me and I thought, I can't cope with this anymore. I started really thinking about my security and the danger aspect of the work, like trying to be a bit more realistic about what I was doing and what I was involved in, how bad it was, all the worry and stress, and also not knowing who's coming through your door. A few people had been killed over the years and I was getting older too. I was thinking, well, this isn't a job that can sustain me until I'm like 80 or 90 because I don't think I want to be having sex with people when I'm that age.”
For some women the decision to exit can feel like a huge step, and often they may face a number of barriers that can limit their options and opportunities to move on, as we will explore next.
Factors that can make it harder for women to stop their involvement
The factors that prevent women from stopping their involvement in selling or exchanging sex are usually the same ones that push them to start in the first place – the need for an income and a roof over their heads.
Researchers have mapped out some of the barriers that woman have described in their exiting processes. Thorlby (2015) divided these into four categories:
In addition to the above, others have identified barriers such as entering prostitution at a young age. And anecdotally, services in Scotland have also mentioned barriers such as woman's identity being tied up with selling sex; wanting the lifestyle and possessions that earnings have brought which they would never otherwise have had; their connection to a network of peers; and the lack of anything feasible to exit to. Katie described in Inside Outside how she experienced the ‘pull’ to start selling sex again:
Factors that can make it harder for women to stop their involvement
The factors that prevent women from stopping their involvement in selling or exchanging sex are usually the same ones that push them to start in the first place – the need for an income and a roof over their heads.
Researchers have mapped out some of the barriers that woman have described in their exiting processes. Thorlby (2015) divided these into four categories:
- Individual: self-destructive behaviours and problematic substance use; mental health problems; effects of trauma from adverse childhood; psychological trauma/injury from violence; chronic psychological stress; self-esteem/shame/guilt; physical health problems.
- Structural: employment, job skills, limited employment; opportunities and basic needs (e.g., housing, homelessness, poverty, economic self-sufficiency); lack of education, qualifications or training; criminal record; inadequate services.
- Relational: limited conventional formal and informal support; strained family relations; coercion from pimps and drug dealers; social isolation.
- Societal: discrimination and stigma.
In addition to the above, others have identified barriers such as entering prostitution at a young age. And anecdotally, services in Scotland have also mentioned barriers such as woman's identity being tied up with selling sex; wanting the lifestyle and possessions that earnings have brought which they would never otherwise have had; their connection to a network of peers; and the lack of anything feasible to exit to. Katie described in Inside Outside how she experienced the ‘pull’ to start selling sex again:
“I am getting out. I am trying to get out. I want to be able to say that I exited and I managed to stay away. That's the hardest part of it. The sauna will ring and ask me to come back, to help them out. If they said, ‘No, you're not coming back’ then I'll be like, ‘Alright okay. Ta.’ It's that pull of money, it drags you back. I feel like I have wasted those years of my life. I have had to fit a lot into it, it feels like time has been running past me.”
Whilst this may not be the case for all women, some women have described feeling like they were part of a supportive network of peers whilst they were involved. And in those cases leaving can represent a significant loss. Women have felt rejected and pushed aside when they have exited, no longer self-identifying as a ‘sex worker’ or being connected to peer groups. On this, Barbie said:
“All the people that I knew, they're all still in, and very much in. I'm not close to them anymore because once you exit the sex industry you drift away from everyone in that world, even people that were your friends for many years.”
In a study with 114 women involved in prostitution, Bindel et al (2012) found that women needed formal exiting services to help them leave prostitution and that exiting is in fact achievable. Although a few women can move on relatively easily, most need support, of different types and intensity for different lengths of time. Equally, women have described how their involvement will stay with them and can continue to have an impact whether it is because of the trauma, criminal records, substance use issues, among others. Joanne in Inside Outside said:
“That was my only income: prostitution. I had to do it. At the time it didn't really mean anything to me, but obviously the repercussions of it now [are] affecting me, because I'm trying to move on with my life. If I want to get a job in the future, anything, it will be there.”
What helps women when leaving the ‘sex industry’
Research and knowledge from services along with input from exited women have flagged the components that are essential for women to move on and exit: formal support services, other methods of earning a reasonable income and peer support and supportive relationships. In a report based on interviews with 23 women, Hedin and Månsson (2004) added that work with women around previous relationships and building new social connections could be important in supporting some women’s exiting processes.
Along with women’s various reasons for exiting, there may be different stages in their exiting process which might include thinking about it, testing out viability, safety planning, reducing involvement rather than leaving entirely, leaving and going back. Women themselves have voiced the need for services specifically focusing on the process of moving on. As Katie said:
Research and knowledge from services along with input from exited women have flagged the components that are essential for women to move on and exit: formal support services, other methods of earning a reasonable income and peer support and supportive relationships. In a report based on interviews with 23 women, Hedin and Månsson (2004) added that work with women around previous relationships and building new social connections could be important in supporting some women’s exiting processes.
Along with women’s various reasons for exiting, there may be different stages in their exiting process which might include thinking about it, testing out viability, safety planning, reducing involvement rather than leaving entirely, leaving and going back. Women themselves have voiced the need for services specifically focusing on the process of moving on. As Katie said:
“I think we need services to help girls exit. Not having a job to go to and not having a routine and not having money, and like, that's the biggest pull to go back. It's the practical help that's really important. If a girl really wants to leave, give her something to concentrate on. Something concrete, a route out in a way.”
Existing exiting models emphasise the need for practical routes into employment as well as support to explore education (in its broader sense, that is, including learning life skills) and personal development so women can envision a life for themselves. This support has to include ongoing support as women’s journeys out of the ‘sex industry’ may require mentoring and the opportunity to check in and explore other alternatives. And crucially, any support should also ensure women’s basic needs are covered, which are often the reasons that led them into selling sex in the first place: financial support, housing, safety, childcare support, food.
Similarly, the importance of counselling and space to explore and process the psychological impact of women’s involvement and decision to leave cannot be underestimated. For many women, coping with the aftermath of their involvement can be a huge barrier to moving on. In Inside Outside, Wendy described what coping with those emotions looks like for her:
Similarly, the importance of counselling and space to explore and process the psychological impact of women’s involvement and decision to leave cannot be underestimated. For many women, coping with the aftermath of their involvement can be a huge barrier to moving on. In Inside Outside, Wendy described what coping with those emotions looks like for her:
“I have to put it all away in a box. Sometimes the lid comes off but then the lid goes back on again. It has to ‘cos of the panic and the overwhelming feelings. The box is there, it’s very much there and you can only open it bit by bit ‘cos if you were to let all of it out, you would be in self-destruct mode. It would be an instant overload of I’ve done this, these things have happened to me.”
“I think counselling should be available. I think lassies need to speak aboot it, 'cos I dinnae really speak aboot it. Now that I'm getting older, I'm thinking you do need to cos it does scar you in ways you didnae realise. You might no' even see it but you're just so used to acting and doin' things a certain way to hide it all.”
Finally, women may not always have control about entering the ‘sex industry’ and equally they may not have control on their exiting. The supports that women receive must be aware of the dynamics of individuals and groups who are part of women’s involvement, such as pimps, partners, controllers, punters, and other women involved. Part of the emotional and psychological support women receive must include breaking the cycle of coercion and control some women may be experiencing and understand that for some women leaving the ‘sex industry’ may not be their own decision but the result from the pressure and/or abuse from others in their social networks.
The role of mainstream services in supporting women’s exiting processes
Specialist services in Scotland have seen how difficult and challenging it can be for women to move on, particularly for women in financial hardship or who are dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), mental health problems, alcohol misuse and/or addictions.
Yet, access to formal support, both practical and emotional, has been shown to play a crucial role in helping women to leave the sex trade. As Bindel et al (2012)’s research found that adequate support helped most of the women in their sample wanting to stop selling sex to move on relatively quickly.
Exiting services should be available to women as a matter of urgency, and it must be acknowledged that in Scotland these continue to remain very limited. For example, a recent report commissioned by the Scottish Government revealed there are substantial gaps in the provision of specialist services for people who sell or exchange sex across the country.
At the same time, the role of all types of services in supporting women to realise their decision to stop selling sex needs to be highlighted. This includes services who do not work exclusively with women involved in selling or exchanging sex or which do not or cannot have a dedicated exiting service.
Many different models have been tried and implemented around the world to support women who wish to stop selling or exchanging sex. And in the evaluations, women have identified the positive aspects of approaches which focus on exiting as a choice. That is, women should always be in control of how and when they wish to leave their involvement in the ‘sex industry’ and the support should be centred in what a woman needs at a given time.
Every journey and every process will vary from woman to woman but underlying all of this is services’ understanding that women should have the option to exit. All services have a role in ensuring and reassuring women that other options exist if they wish to explore them.
There are also practical considerations that can make a huge difference for women. For example, not see women’s involvement in selling or exchanging sex as inevitable and instead proactively supporting them to consider their aspirations and the possibility of exiting; ensuring harm reduction support for women who experience relapses and reversals in their exiting journey; checking in with women about their longer term aspirations and any plans to exit; explore multi-agency support networks with comprehensive long-term plans. Finally, offering practical support with essentials such as access to drug treatment, information around benefits and financial support, safe accommodation, and overall giving women the chance to build the life they envision for themselves. In the words of Wendy:
The role of mainstream services in supporting women’s exiting processes
Specialist services in Scotland have seen how difficult and challenging it can be for women to move on, particularly for women in financial hardship or who are dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), mental health problems, alcohol misuse and/or addictions.
Yet, access to formal support, both practical and emotional, has been shown to play a crucial role in helping women to leave the sex trade. As Bindel et al (2012)’s research found that adequate support helped most of the women in their sample wanting to stop selling sex to move on relatively quickly.
Exiting services should be available to women as a matter of urgency, and it must be acknowledged that in Scotland these continue to remain very limited. For example, a recent report commissioned by the Scottish Government revealed there are substantial gaps in the provision of specialist services for people who sell or exchange sex across the country.
At the same time, the role of all types of services in supporting women to realise their decision to stop selling sex needs to be highlighted. This includes services who do not work exclusively with women involved in selling or exchanging sex or which do not or cannot have a dedicated exiting service.
Many different models have been tried and implemented around the world to support women who wish to stop selling or exchanging sex. And in the evaluations, women have identified the positive aspects of approaches which focus on exiting as a choice. That is, women should always be in control of how and when they wish to leave their involvement in the ‘sex industry’ and the support should be centred in what a woman needs at a given time.
Every journey and every process will vary from woman to woman but underlying all of this is services’ understanding that women should have the option to exit. All services have a role in ensuring and reassuring women that other options exist if they wish to explore them.
There are also practical considerations that can make a huge difference for women. For example, not see women’s involvement in selling or exchanging sex as inevitable and instead proactively supporting them to consider their aspirations and the possibility of exiting; ensuring harm reduction support for women who experience relapses and reversals in their exiting journey; checking in with women about their longer term aspirations and any plans to exit; explore multi-agency support networks with comprehensive long-term plans. Finally, offering practical support with essentials such as access to drug treatment, information around benefits and financial support, safe accommodation, and overall giving women the chance to build the life they envision for themselves. In the words of Wendy:
“I thought the light had already gone out of my eyes but it hadn't gone entirely. It hadn't gone out in my heart and in my head. I still had a wee bit of life left in me and I knew I had more to give. I had to give myself a chance to be a different person.”
To find out some steps you can take to respond to women who are considering exiting their involvement in selling or exchanging sex, read our practice points here.
